Irritation station

“Wotcha doin’?”

Ana Lisa plopped down and read in silence over my shoulder as I pecked away at the computer. Then after laying an amused but affectionate smack on my forehead she rose and wandered off, tossing back over her shoulder, “My little babe who’s tweaked by everything.”

I watched her retreating back, then looked down again at the e-mail in front of me.


Sometimes my wife can be a real pain in my butt.

In a little over a month AL and I will have been married for nine years, and we’ve been together for 13. Last year I even schemed for a while about throwing a “baker’s dozen” anniversary party, but that all got lost in the craziness of Javid’s birth and death.

Thirteen years we’ve been together, and I don’t think there’s a week I can remember where one of us didn’t get royally annoyed with the other.

That’s a lot of irritation; we really do drive each other crazy sometimes. And at this point I don’t see that probably ever changing. If we stay together, which we seem to be planning to do (maybe I’d better check…), I figure we’re looking at an awful lot of accumulated aggravation.

Coupledom has many attractions. I have to recognize daily, for instance, how fortunate I am to live with someone who appreciates the finer art forms like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, say, or humming meme songs.

But the longer we’re together the more I’ve grown to appreciate how much our lives are invigorated by our mutual vexation.

This week I stumbled upon an article over at that source of all things serious, I read “7 reasons the 21st Century is making you miserable” and thought to myself: This is why I love my wife.

Well, okay, she’s also hot. But no one in the world can challenge my craziness and deflate my narcissism with the same warmth, humor and … efficiency. She drives me crazy, like no one else, and has saved me from myself more times than I can count.

When wee little Javid was born and we started writing on his website, an amazing thing happened. Not only were we struck by the number of people who seemed to be interested in our son, but by their variety. We knew enough about enough of the people paying us virtual visits to know that if we sat them all down and started a conversation about politics or theology, we might have another war on our hands.

And yet what we experienced from everyone was such generosity and kindness. It’s nothing but simple truth to say that through all the scary days of Javid’s life and the terrible pain of his death, we got lifted up and carried along by our “motley crew of lovable louts.”

Javid was the only child we’ve ever had, so it was my first experience of how a small being can help to bridge distances between people.

It will be interesting to see what happens with this blog now that Javid is no longer here to make his parents seem cuter. I was thinking about that when I thought of one of the goals I have for in writing.

At least occasionally, it’d be great if WeePlanet could be really annoying.

Like Ana Lisa annoys me, and I annoy her. With laughter, with inevitable clumsiness, but maybe, occasionally with the grace that pushes us to look beyond ourselves and notice what silly, limited but utterly adorable animalitos we are.

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring. Banana phone.

3 Responses to “Irritation station”

  1. Bevalee Says:

    It’s wonderful that are writing again…and in such a great format. Loved all of your entries so far. “Mutual vexation” — great term. I look forward to WeePlanet being really annoying from time to time…along with being funny edifying.

  2. merlyn Says:



    Remembering the time I followed in your footsteps by taking the bus to C.A. from the US and packed lots of reading anticipating 50 hours of … the one redeeming memory of what at the time seemed such a good plan was not having to worry about return tickets?