Body blow

Some months back I went down on my derrière in a head-on collision with another biker. Last Saturday was Ana Lisa’s turn. Picking her way carefully over loose shale on a path in the Adirondacks, she completely missed (or rather didn’t) a branch sticking out at head level. It seemed for an instant the bark patterns spelled out “p0wned,” but that’s clearly just coincidence or bad arboreal manners. Regardless, she ended up with sore head, neck, butt and pride.

In the first weeks and months after Javid’s death, the anniversaries rained down on us fast and furious, like the mall arcade game back in the 80s that used to shout out over and over, “Body blow! Body blow!” We would forget and then remember with a start that it was one week, two weeks, one month since his death, eight, nine, ten months since he’d been born. Exactly three months after that awful day when we woke up knowing we’d be going to bed no longer parents, we sat in a circle at a reunion for Tony’s Mom’s side of the family and tried to hold it together as we talked about the experience. One month later than that was the Niblet’s mother’s birthday, which we struggled to make festive while distracted by who we wished could have been celebrating with us.

It’s been a hell of a year. This coming Monday minus 365 days was the date the Wee Boy, scrawny little chicken of a kid, came to roost with us for a while.

We have no idea what to do on his birthday. We do know we’ll do something, and that it won’t be a day of only sadness. Little Borg baby he may have been, but Javid was a joy. Along with many other things, of course, his memory continues to bring us the same emotion.

So we’ll be looking for ways to grieve, honor and celebrate our son this weekend. Stubborn and dear little child, he earned it.



One Response to “Body blow”

  1. Michele Says:

    Tony & Ana Lisa, I can’t even imagine the feelings that overwhelm you these days as you go through them without Javid. Always know that you’re in our thoughts as we reach out to hug you – even though for us from afar it’s only in spirit and through technology. Take care. Love, Michele, Vince, Jacob, Jared & Emma