WeePlanet

Wow! Since the lil nipper popped out there have been more than 1,000 hits on the site. Who knew there were so many people out there cruising the Internet when they should be working. I’ve pulled together a list of all your IP addresses and I’m all set to e-mail your supervisors and bosses. Of course I might possibly be dissuaded by a sudden influx of cash to Jaiel’s college bank account.

Fortunately the bug seems to be unfazed by all the attention.

I think he looks pretty skintastic for someone barely 24 hours out from an 8 1/2-month soak. Of course, I may have photoshopped that one a bit. Here’s the original.

The boy insists this was a scratch and not a pick. I asked him to be fess up whether there was any nostril penetration. He admitted there might have been some incidental penetration, but said from my angle I was in no position to make the call.

You know how those child actors always seem to end up doing something icky? We hope this isn’t an early warning sign.

For now though, he’s got plenty of people willing to overlook a little nasal exploration. Like for instance the granpappies and mammies Yoder and Lapp:

… and his Aunt Amy and Uncle Dave:

It’s a bit surreal to be able to just reach down, pick him up (yes, yes, supporting the head … we know!) and hand him over. We keep looking around for a nurse to spot us. It’s amazing how uncomplicated it is to play hot potato with a baby who comes with no tube, cable or incubator attachments. We wished for so many more to have the opportunity to play that game with his older brother. Virtual loving is a wonderful thing, but it’s also nice to press actual flesh.

Speaking of wonderful things, yesterday I had the rare privilege of cleaning up after his very first bomb. His wily mother played the I-just-had-a-big-hole-cut-in-my-abdomen card. I knew I’d be hearing that one. Really, she’s getting away with murder … just sits there shoving his head into one boob after the other. Talk about your desk jobs.

Look at her this morning, shoveling her face full of food.

You’d think she hadn’t eaten for 36 hours or something.

So predictably I get stuck with all the crap work. Take this task, for instance. Having gnawled my fingernails to nubs since I was about five, I’m really the last person this should have been entrusted to. Like I’m going to know my way around a nail file.

Yesterday everything was happening so fast the best I could do was throw up a few photos. We thought, however, you might be interested in a few more shots of the early moments.

If the birth experience felt otherworldly, one reason may have been the space outfit I had to get gussied up in.

Maybe they figured, since the delivery was a couple of weeks early, that he might need an extra dose of adrenaline when he first came out. The natural method is always best.

Since this wasn’t our first time, I did have some idea what to expect when they finally let me go back. It was still quite strange to find AL stretched out like a crucifix about to raised up to vertical.

One night last week when Ana Lisa was exercising I watched an online video of a C-section. Unlike Javid’s birth, when we were both terrified and mostly focused on Ana Lisa not dying, I knew this time I would want to actually look at some point. So I was trying to prepare myself; no fainting allowed. I had such a grand time lying to Ana Lisa about the baby shower her workmates planned for her several weeks back, I may have developed some taste for deception. So I didn’t tell her about the video until after the procedure yesterday. Especially not the part about all the pulling and tearing and prying.

My assignment in the last week and during the C-section was to talk about the baby in very specific terms, and the surgery itself only in generalities–thus deftly pulling her attention away from the fact that they were about to slice her open. And I had to do this without AL realizing what I was doing … not an easy task. We have two cats, Chaka and Little Kitty. If you tempt Chaka with a toy dangling from a stick by a string, he’s instantly focused on the toy and really quite amazing at catching it out of mid-air. Try the same thing with Little Kitty and his eyes immediately travel up the string, down the stick, up your arm and right to your face. He figures out the trick behind the toy, and doesn’t feel tempted to play.

My wife is definitely a Little Kitty. So I’m quite proud of my performance, thank you very much. I’ve checked and can now confirm that (for once) I actually pulled something off without her realizing what I was doing. Yay me, but it’s probably the last time I’ll ever get away with anything like that.

We have a shot or two of him first coming out, thanks to the very helpful anesthesiologist. We don’t think we’re going to post them but trust us that they’re bloody and gooky, and the hole is big and gaping.

Here you’ll have to settle for the immediate aftermath.

A nice connection to Javid presented itself mid-surgery. One of Javid’s attendings, Dr. Sam Garber, came up to handle the baby hand-off from the surgeons. So it’s his arms you see in the next several photos.

You terrible people, what have you done with my nice womb?!?!

Is that a water pipe! You know what they say, get ‘em hookahed young and you get ‘em hookahed for life.

Ooo, thas guillermo frío el penguino!

Hey, that’s where I was going to get my first piercing!

I swears off’cer, I yain’t carryin’.

You’re taking my picture with this big ox? Let me do a turtle.

Already walking all over Daddy.

What is this baby? I thought you were bringing me a cheese steak.

After ducking out of here at 11 last night, I biked over this morning at 8. As I came to a stop in front of the hospital, a weary biker moved to pull away. I looked over and with a start recognized Dr. Johannson, the ob/gyn who delivered Jaiel yesterday. I called over a question and he confirmed that yes, he had been working ever since then. He grinned, clearly tired, and I grinned back a: “Glad we caught you on the front end of your shift.”

Here he is yesterday, much more alert.

When we were having to decide to deliver Javid so early because of Ana Lisa’s preeclampsia, Dr. J walked us through his own thinking about what we faced, and did it so thoughtfully that by the end we were totally on board with what needed to happen. We still remember how he first came in, sat down, reached out and touched Ana Lisa on the arm and looked at her saying, “This must be really scary for you.”

If it’s possible to get an ob/gyn who always seems to be laughing, I highly recommend it. During yesterday’s C-section, we could hear him the whole time through the curtain, swapping stories and letting out his customary big guffaws. Very reassuring.

As Ana Lisa might say: Best. C-section. Ever.

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