Our son Javid died one year ago today.
We’ve been dreading this day. It hurts like hell to bump a scab, then recoil from the shock and pain. But to have time to watch the blow descend and to wince in anticipation. Worse.
Now it’s here, and it does hurt. And should. [...]
We’re down visiting Ana Lisa’s parents–our first trip to Virginia since before Javid was born. Last year at this time we were just beginning to be conscious of how much our lifestyle was changing, as we fearfully ventured all of 40 minutes outside of Philadelphia to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving, before rushing back [...]
This has been a year for the legs of our logic to be kicked out from under us, over and again.
Javid died six months ago today. Wisp of a thing he was at birth, blood pumping wrongways through his heart, Saran-wrapped to keep his body temperature from plunging. The shock of his arrival—what [...]
In the crazy days after Javid’s birth, his web pages kind of unfolded, in a very basic format, from our slow realization that we couldn’t maintain the pace of calling or e-mailing friends and family. The pages were never really meant to be a blog, although they eventually turned into something similar. But [...]
“If the pattern of our lives continues after death, then my love is with you even now.”
Catherine Asaro, The Last Hawk
Happy birthday, boy.
“Baseballistically speaking,” as The Kid once put it, it was not the best of days. Despite the valiant efforts of a crafty old cuss from my neck of the woods, youth prevailed and the Phightin’ Phils got served by a buncha upstart Kid Rocks.
In all other ways the day was lovely, and helpful to [...]
Some months back I went down on my derrière in a head-on collision with another biker. Last Saturday was Ana Lisa’s turn. Picking her way carefully over loose shale on a path in the Adirondacks, she completely missed (or rather didn’t) a branch sticking out at head level. It seemed for an instant [...]
I spend my work week coaching people to herd their elephants. Then there are those times when I question my own license to drive a pachyderm (or, as the cool people apparently refer to them these days, a proboscidean).
The whole point of my job at Menergy is to convince people to stop hurting people [...]
I like to blow things up with my mind.
Sometimes I joke that the most important stuff in my brain actually resides in the little electronic gadget I usually carry in my pocket. Like lies, a good joke is only made the more effective when based in truth. Due in part maybe to some inherited [...]
“Wotcha doin’?”
Ana Lisa plopped down and read in silence over my shoulder as I pecked away at the computer. Then after laying an amused but affectionate smack on my forehead she rose and wandered off, tossing back over her shoulder, “My little babe who’s tweaked by everything.”
I watched her retreating back, then looked down again [...]
Three months ago we stopped writing.
After about eight months of using the web to connect our lives with friends, family and eventually a lot of folks we didn’t even know, we crashed.
Javid, our prematurely born son, was of course the reason for writing in the first place. His life in the hospital was [...]
