Charitable Donations

 

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So many of you have been so generous to us throughout this process.  For anyone interested in extending your generosity in the form of a charitable gift in the name or the spirit of our son, we have several suggestions.  The first is that you do so in any manner and for the benefit of any recipient that feels right to you.  Much of the generosity we've experienced in the period during and after Javid's brief life has come to us in ways we couldn't have anticipated, and that has so often brought us unlooked-for joy.  The mongrel horde of people who have followed and participated in this website has been a source of richness to us, and we would smile our way through life knowing that you gave toward something that most represents you.

 

For those looking for ideas, here are four options that we consider to both reflect some of our interests and to also honor Javid's impact on our lives.  They vary in focus and, in one case, impact on your tax statement (!), but they're all wonderfully worthy.  Much as we may deserve to get spanked for making a corny movie reference, we think this can be one small way to "pay it forward."

 

 

1

 

 

So much of the Niblet's life was spent cradled in the walls of the Pennsylvania Hospital Intensive Care Nursery (ICN), being cared for and loved by its marvelous staff.  We can't speak highly enough of the work and the workers.  Every child and all parents in an acute health situation deserve people and a place like this.  We would be honored if you would consider giving a donation to the ICN.

 

A friend is still gathering information on how exactly to make a charitable gift to the Pennsy ICN.  As we know more we will post it here.  For now, please call 215-829-5070 and ask to speak to the nurse manager, who can give you further information.

 

 

2

 

 

When parents hurt their spouses or partners, not just the emotional well-being but the physical health of kids—even newborns—gets affected.  In our work lives we are both involved in efforts to get people to stop hurting or being hurt by their intimate partners.  Odd as it may sound, we love this work and believe in its importance.  We could tell you many stories (when have we not had a story...?) about how changing patterns of domestic abuse transforms the lives of both the adults and the children involved.

 

We always wished for Javid to see many examples of big people loving little people and each other, and are so grateful that he got so much of that packed into his short life.  As our good friends at the Institute for Safe Families remind us, children learn what they live.

 

The Bilingual Domestic Violence Program (BDVP) of the Lutheran Settlement House, which Ana Lisa directs, performs a mighty labor every day helping abused partners and their children to become safer.  The work is immense and the resources are few.  Please consider supporting them.  This page contains information about donations to Lutheran Settlement House.  If you wish to specify that your donation be dedicated to the work of the BDVP, please include a note indicating so with your donation.

 

 

3

 

 

Anyone else ever grossed out but also fascinated when they were a kid by the book How to Eat Fried Worms?  Thirty-nine years old and Tony still includes it on his all-time fave list, just for sheer, unabashed worminess.

 

We've noted often through the months of Wee Boy's life how much his condition seemed to play to the strengths of the U.S. healthcare system.  How many machines and treatments has he had access to that are available few other places in the world?  How much specialized knowledge, how much expertise?  And how we would have loved for him to develop to the point where he could play to its weaknesses!  Even when he struggled, we always knew that he was benefiting from the best acute care in the world.  It's so easy to be in the middle of it all and just take it for granted, but what an unbelievable thing to be able to say.  The best in the world.

 

Like the title character from My Name is Earl, our grasp of the concept of karma is rudimentary at best.  For example, having planted about 50,000 seedlings in one summer of working for a reforesting company, Tony sort of does actually believe he's now entitled to consume paper products without guilt.  Twisted but true.

 

We may never know the total cost of Javid's care, but we believe the figure falls roughly in the range of what accountants refer to as "reedikyoolus."  Not as ridiculous as this, but still...

 

It seems very likely our karmic debt can never be repaid, but the quickest path may be through supporting The Worm Project.  Founded by Tony's Uncle Claude, possibly the most equipped person in the history of the universe to weigh in on efficient use of resources and an awfully nice man to boot, The Worm Project is public health in all its glory ... or in the other words, some measure of karmic balance to critical care.  Oh-so-inexpensive deworming pills allow the bodies of children around the world to benefit from scarce nutrients.  This is a beautiful and worthy project.  With very little your impact could be immense.  Consider devoting some of your resources to supporting the effort.  And while you're looking at the web page, why not spend some time reading and thinking about how the choices we make about what to consume can directly affect what we're able to give.

 

 

4

 

 

Again with the yin, ditto with the yang.  If Wee Boy profited time and again from his access to top-shelf medical care, how much more have we as a family benefited during these nerve-racking months from all the tangible and intangible privileges of our lives?  Steady jobs (with understanding bosses!), a comfortable-if-not-always-as-clean-as-it-should-be home, loving family and friends, wonderful neighbors, a safe community, etcetera etcetera etcetera.

 

Meet our dear Guatemalan friend Diana Ara and her children Roxy, Wilfredo and Yesy.  If ever someone willed her family forward in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds, this is that person.  All the times we've thought, "What if we had to face _________ on top of all this?" Diana could reach into her bag o' life and pluck out any of a host of awfuls to fill in the blank.  And still she endures, fiercely, stubbornly (to borrow from Richard Dawkins) persisting in her climb up Mount Improbable.
 

We've been friends with Diana since the early 90s, when we met her as a member of UPAVIM ("United to Live Better") a women's cooperative in the squatter settlement where she lived.  The women of that cooperative are salty and serious, passionate and profound, and their joining together in search of improved lives for themselves and their children is a wonderful story.  They continue their work today ... if you're ever in a Ten Thousand Villages store, ask about artisan work produced by UPAVIM members.  It's quite lovely.

 

When Ana Lisa worked for a year with UPAVIM tutoring children from the community, Diana reached out to her in many ways big and small.  Both of us have felt warmly received and well fed in her tiny dirt-floored house made of tin.  Her kids were the cutest when they were small, and we have marveled at the kind of young'uns they're growing to become.  Besides her own, Diana opened many other doors to Ana Lisa during her time in the community of La Esperanza ... to friendship, to lots of learning across cultures, to the language.  So many other uncountable things.

 

We've found no other possible response than to be humbled and inspired by this mujer de corazón ardiente and all she's done to try to keep her children safe and get them educated.  And we grieve with her at all the life circumstances that get in her way.  She and her children have repeatedly been targets of serious street violence, unfortunately often carried out by gang members deported from the U.S. and now terrorizing local communities in their home countries.  Work opportunities are scarce and pay little.  Sanitary conditions and stress contribute to health problems, and when problems arise health care is difficult to obtain and expensive.  City services are few and often dysfunctional.  Etcetera etcetera etcetera.

 

In the mix is a small child, not pictured here.  The details of his arrival ain't nobody's business, but trust us that no one—not our friend and not her kids—has been irresponsible here.  So far from it.  And yet here's this child, small but mighty like a certain other Wee One.  And he'll be trying to make his way in the world, with a loving mother, aunt, uncle and grandma, but very very little else.

 

When Ana Lisa became pregnant, and later when Javid was born, Diana was among the most vociferous of celebrants and the most concerned of companions, albeit from afar.  With access to so little, she continues to seek ways to be generous to us.  And in the midst of our plenty, we feel like we've been able to offer her relatively such a small amount.

 

For a number of years we have committed to providing some support aimed at permitting Diana's children to stay in school.  Both Wilfredo and Yesy have now completed high school and technical school.  In the last year Diana was diagnosed with a fortunately operable tumor in her kidney.  The cost of that surgery was rather substantial and we've wrestled a bit with how helping with that impacted our ability to keep sending support for schooling.

 

If you would like to contribute toward our support of the on-going educational costs of Diana's youngest child Roxy and the future ones of her grandson Jorge, you could warm both their hearts and ours.  Think of it as a twofer ... or rather a sixfer!

 

The method of such a contribution would of necessity be less formal than the other options.  And obviously there would be no way to claim it on your taxes!  But if you're interested, the easiest way for now is probably to send us your contribution in the form of a check by mail.  Please include a note indicating that it is a donation meant for Diana.  Here again is our address:

 

 

Thanks to all of you for considering these options and for the many ways you love and give that have nothing to do with money.

 

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